Archive through November 28, 2012
- Thread starter dschwandt
- Start date
Help Support IH Cub Cadet Tractor Forum:
Bible Study - A short read from Genesis
And now you know!
"And God promised men that good, and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."
Then He made the earth round ... And He laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
And now you know!
"And God promised men that good, and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."
Then He made the earth round ... And He laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed.
She puts on her robe and goes down stairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of
coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?"
he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her
husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"
She puts on her robe and goes down stairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of
coffee in front him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room. "Why are you down here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, and you were only 17?"
he asks solemnly. The wife is touched thinking her
husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do," she replies.
The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when you father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues..."Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years".
"I remember that too", she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... "I would have gotten out today!"
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2006
- Messages
- 2,912
- displayname
- Allen Schumacher
Well, it is not a pretty story.... about 200 dead crows near Bangor, Maine and there was concern for Avian Flu. They had a Bird Pathologist examine the
remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely
NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
However, he determined that 98% of the
crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by car
impact. The Authorities then hired a Ornithological Behaviorist to
determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill.
The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.
When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out Crow" in a nearby
tree, to warn of impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout
crow could say "Cah," but he could not say "Truck."
remains of all the crows, and he confirmed the problem was definitely
NOT Avian Flu, to everyone's relief.
However, he determined that 98% of the
crows had been killed by impact with trucks, and only 2% were killed by car
impact. The Authorities then hired a Ornithological Behaviorist to
determine the disproportionate percentages for truck versus car kill.
The Ornithological Behaviorist determined the cause in short order.
When crows eat road kill, they always post a "look-out Crow" in a nearby
tree, to warn of impending danger. His conclusion was that the lookout
crow could say "Cah," but he could not say "Truck."
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2006
- Messages
- 2,912
- displayname
- Allen Schumacher
Clean AND COLD!!!!
On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in Park Rapids, MN were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street,
so snowplows can get through conveniently".
So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car
on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...."
Then the power went off.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so
the snowplows can get through?"
Then, with all the love and understanding in his voice that men who are married to blondes always exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just
leave the car in the garage this time?"
On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in Park Rapids, MN were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street,
so snowplows can get through conveniently".
So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car
on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through."
The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park...."
Then the power went off.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so
the snowplows can get through?"
Then, with all the love and understanding in his voice that men who are married to blondes always exhibit, the husband replied, "Why don't you just
leave the car in the garage this time?"
