Archive through April 23, 2009

[bbrigham]

THE LIE DETECTOR


John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks.
His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a
robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector. It was about 5:30 that
afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school.
Tommy was over 2 hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours
late getting home?" asked John.

"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said
Tommy.

The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely
out of his chair.

"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you
really were after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.

"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.

"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.

The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off
his chair. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am
sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to
my parents."

The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked
him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you
ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with
Tommy. After all, he is your son!"

The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

 

[stanner]

What you do when you do not own a Cub, AND live behind the cheddar curtain...

http://www.breitbart.tv/watch-as-wisconsin-rednecks-crash-their-clunkers/

 

[jbaker]

Yep, I will have to cross the cheddar border for that next year yeehah

 

[aschumacher]

Not really a joke but the safest place for it...
Talking about 'dual tube' dipsticks, has anyone seen the new commercial by Castrol oil for their new oil 'Edge"?
A Scottish man is whipping people with a steel car dipstick while they are checking oil to buy and saying:
"Are you thinking with your dipstick !??"
<font size="-2">I gagged on my beer the first time I saw it. Now I just chuckle.</font>

 

[dross]

I know from personal expirience that a dip stick can take the skin right off, I know, I'm not right, it made me chuckle too.

 

[fcurrier]

Dipsticks & jokes: Several years ago there was a Phish Concert at Limestone, Maine. A friend and I witnessed one of the spectators, evidently on her way home, at a local gas station. She was checking her oil and holding the dipstick upside down. Friend's comment: "Daddy, there's more oil in the motor than there was when I left home".

 

[chunt]

Allen:

Now that's thinking with your dipstick, Jimmy!!

 

[aschumacher]

Frank, at least she didn't have to ask for any "710" to put in the engine!

 

[aschumacher]

Carey, Jimmy must be a smart person in knowing the proper way to check a dipstick. The rest are still thinking about it...

 

[rpalmer]

Timely and hopefully not offensive or otherwise against the rules.

Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
-- John F. Kennedy