• This community needs YOUR help today!

    With the ever-increasing fees of maintaining our vibrant community (servers, software, domains, email), we need help.
    We need more Supporting Members today.

    Please invest back into this community to help spread our love and knowledge of all aspects of IH Cub Cadet and other garden tractors.

    Why Join?

    • Exclusive Access: Gain entry to private forums.
    • Special Perks: Enjoy enhanced account features that enrich your experience, including the ability to disable ads.
    • Free Gifts: Sign up annually and receive exclusive IH Cub Cadet Tractor Forum decals directly to your door!

    This is your chance to make a difference. Become a Supporting Member today:

    Upgrade Now

Archive through January 03, 2012

IH Cub Cadet Tractor Forum

Help Support IH Cub Cadet Tractor Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

dross

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2006
Messages
1,513
displayname
Dave Ross
Along the same note, I have an 83 dodge with a 4" lift and 33's. When I put that truck together about 10 years ago I could throw the spare next to it and climb into the engine compartment, stand on a frame rail and do whatever needed done in there. I parked it when the price of gas hit 4 bucks. Last summer I decided to get it running again, just to do it. Here it is a year and a half after that decision and I did buy plates for it last month. I need the spare and anouther tire now to get up there and there is just no way I can stand on the same frame rail, bent over, to get anything done, like breathe. Lot of good memorys with that truck mostly with a couple friends I had, thier both gone now. I just want to drive it to the gas station again, about as far as it will go on one 30 gallon tank. Everybody ought to have a goal.
happy.gif
 
OK all you bright lights.




RISK: THE WILL TO DO, THE SOUL TO DARE

From: [email protected]
To: ;
Subject: Fw: Brain Teaser
Date: Fri, 13 Jan 2012 07:40:45 -0500















Look at this for a moment and all of a sudden you'll be able to read it.

Brain Study....

I've seen this with the letters out of order, but this is the first time I've seen it with numbers.


F1gur471v3ly 5p34k1ng?

Good example of a Brain Study: If you can read this you have a strong mind:

7H15 M3554G3
53RV35 7O PR0V3
H0W 0UR M1ND5 C4N
D0 4M4Z1NG 7H1NG5!
1MPR3551V3 7H1NG5!
1N 7H3 B3G1NN1NG
17 WA5 H4RD BU7
N0W, 0N 7H15 LIN3
Y0UR M1ND 1S
R34D1NG 17
4U70M471C4LLY
W17H 0U7 3V3N
7H1NK1NG 4B0U7 17,
B3 PROUD! 0NLY
C3R741N P30PL3 C4N
R3AD 7H15.

PL3453 F0RW4RD 1F
U C4N R34D 7H15. J

Yep sure can!
 
A friend just sent this to me and I figured it should be posted here:

234441.jpg
 
23 Adult Truths

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call..

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Ladies.....Quit Laughing.
 
THE BRIDGE.

A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.

God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge....?"
 
Time for some Nufie humor !

Newfoundlander Longevity

An 80-year-old Newfoundlander drives to a clinic in to St. John's for a check-up.

The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?'

'I'm a Nufundlunder, me boy and in me spar tim I like ta hunt ‘nd fish' says the old guy, 'and thut's wha I'm in such gran’ shape. I be up well afore daylit an’ oot in t’e field plowin’ and mendin’ fences an’ wen I be not dooin thet, I be out huntin’ or fishin’. In the evening, I’s hev a beer and all is well.'

'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?'

'Who’s sayin’ my futher's ded?'

The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 70 years old and your father's still alive? How old is he?'

'He's 86 years old,' says the old NL. boy. 'In fact he worked with and hunted with me this marnin’, and then we went to the topless bar for a whyl and had some beer and thet's why he's still alive. He's a Nefundlunder farmer and he's a hunter and fishermun too.'

'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your father's father? How old was he when he died?'

'Who sed my Granpa's ded?'

Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 70 years old and your grandfather's' still alive?'

'He's a hunert ‘n too yars old,' says the man.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went hunting with you this morning too?'

'No, Grandpa cudn't go dis marnin’ ‘cause he's getting’ marrid t’day.'

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married! Why would a 102 year-old guy want to get married?'

'Who said he wanted to?'
 
Magic Beer...

A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself. She goes over and asks what he's drinking.

"Magic beer" he says

She asks "that isn't really magic beer is it?"

"Yes, I'll show you".

He takes a drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

The lady can't believe it: "I'll bet you can't do that again".

He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window.

She is so amazed that she says she wants a magic beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her what I'm having."

She gets her drink, takes a gulp of beer, jumps out the window, falls 30 stories, splats on the sidewalk and dies.

The bartender looks up at the guy and says "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk"
 
When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop
Any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd
Never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

PMS jokes aren't funny; period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's
No pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job
Because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
 
you have to watch the video (read: listen to the video) He's so serious the entire way through. I would be laughing like crazy if I were telling this story. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xC_onLPc-0E

"Wolf Creek Pass" by C.W. McCall

Me an' Earl was haulin' chickens on a flatbed out of Wiggins, and we'd spent all night on the uphill side of thirty-seven miles of hell called Wolf Creek Pass. Which is up on the Great Divide?

We was settin' there suckin' toothpicks, drinkin' Nehi and onion soup mix, and I said, "Earl, let's mail a card to Mother then send them chickens on down the other side. Yeah, let's give 'em a ride."

[Chorus]
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side

Well, Earl put down his bottle, mashed his foot down on the throttle, and then a couple'a boobs with a thousand cubes in a nineteen-forty-eight Peterbilt screamed to life. We woke up the chickens.

Well, we roared up offa that shoulder sprayin' pine cones, rocks, and boulders, and put four hundred head of them Rhode Island reds and a couple a' burnt-out roosters on the line. Look out below; 'cause here we go!

Well, we commenced to truckin' and them hens commenced to cluckin' and then Earl took out a match and scratched his pants and lit up the unused half of a dollar cigar and took a puff. Says "My, ain't this purdy up here."

I says, "Earl, this hill can spill us. You better slow down or you gonna kill us. Just make one mistake and it's the Pearly Gates for them eight-five crates a' USDA-approved cluckers. You wanna hit second?"

[Chorus]
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side

Well, Earl grabbed on the shifter and he stabbed her into fifth gear and then the chromium-plated, fully-illuminated genuine accessory shift knob come right off in his hand. I says, "You wanna screw that thing back on, Earl?"

He was tryin' to thread it on there when the fire fell off a' his cigar and dropped on down, sorta rolled around, and then lit in the cuff of Earl's pants and burned a hole in his sock. Yeah, sorta set him right on fire.

I looked on outta the window and I started countin' phone poles, goin' by at the rate of four to the seventh power. Well I put two and two together, and added twelve and carried five; come up with twenty-two thousand telephone poles an hour.

I looked at Earl and his eyes was wide, his lip was curled, and his leg was fried. And his hand was froze to the wheel like a tongue to a sled in the middle of a blizzard. I says, "Earl, I'm not the type to complain; but the time has come for me to explain that if you don't apply some brake real soon, they're gonna have to pick us up with a stick and a spoon."

Well, Earl rared back, and cocked his leg, stepped as down as hard as he could on the brake, and the pedal went clear to the floor and stayed there, right there on the floor. He said it was sorta like steppin' on a plum.

Well, from there on down it just wasn't real purdy: it was hairpin county and switchback city. One of 'em looked like a can full'a worms; another one looked like malaria germs. Right in the middle of the whole damn show was a real nice tunnel, now wouldn't you know?

Sign says clearance to the twelve-foot line, but the chickens was stacked to thirteen-nine. Well we shot that tunnel at a hundred-and-ten, like gas through a funnel and eggs through a hen, and we took that top row of chickens off slicker than scum off a Lousiana swamp. Went down and around and around and down 'til we run outta ground at the edge of town. Bashed into the side of the feed store... in downtown Pagosa Springs.

[Chorus]
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side
Wolf Creek Pass, way up on the Great Divide
Truckin' on down the other side}
 
Charles, thats from about 77 or 78, mabey a little earlier. I think they made a movie.
 
hmm.. I wouldn't know.. I just think its a hilarious song.
 
Charles,
I like CW's "black bear road" song... namely the lyric, "You don't hafta be crazy to drive this road, but it helps...."
 
Wanted: Right side IH rear wheel weights. Mine are all marked "L".
For sale (or trade) complete set of Encyclopedias. I no longer need these - my wife knows everything.
happy.gif
 
I can't let Donald Tanner post all the good jokes:

The Robot

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps you when you lie.

He decides to test it out on his son at supper.

Father: "Where were you last night?"
Son: "I was at the library."
<font color="0000ff">The robot slaps the <font size="+1">son.</font></font>

Son: "OK I was at a friend's house," the son admits.

Doing what?" asked the father.
"Watching a movie: Toy Story" said the son.
<font color="0000ff">The robot slaps the <font size="+1">son.</font></font>

"OK, it was porn!" cried the son.

Father yells "What? When I was your age I didn't know what porn was!"
<font color="0000ff">The robot slaps the <font size="+1">father.</font></font>

The mother laughs and says, "He certainly is your son!"
<font color="0000ff">The robot slaps the <font size="+1">mother.</font></font>
 

Latest posts

Back
Top