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jbaker

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jeff l baker
This is very gory – if you can’t handle bloody scenes, don’t scroll down. What it shows is what happens to someone who tries to burglarize a house that has a pit bull as a “guard dog” – dog-1, burgular-0.


The attached photos are from a burglary in one of our southern states. The photos are the results of a stupid burglar who failed to notice the residence has a pit bull for a pet or maybe a guard dog. It appears said burglar struck the dog on the head but failed to hit it hard enough. The lesson learned is thou shall not argue with a pit bull when burglarizing a home and be cautious with the capabilities of a dog.


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wshytle

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Wayne Shytle
You realize that if that burglar was black the dog would just be racist.

I'm glad the dog will be ok.
 

jbaker

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jeff l baker
Good things dogs are colored blind,
but when you hit a dog you better be ready for the bite no matter what color you are...
 

jbaker

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jeff l baker
Yes your are most likely right,
although if he was human and killed the other man after being struck in the head, it would be self defense.
 

jbaker

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jeff l baker
A .45 caliber round makes a pretty big hole, I can just imagine how the conversation went:
"Check out my new .45, it has a really great trigger pull".........nice squeeze ............Bang!!!!...........Oh ****............OUCH!"

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Off to Walmart for some new shoes, socks, and a hand gun for dumies book.....
 
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Aug 19, 2012
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Keith Ostendorf
It's amazing how loyal and loving these dogs are with there family...

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Joined
Aug 19, 2012
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Keith Ostendorf
Time for some jokes,


True stories from doctors, to funny.....

1. A man comes into the ER and yells, 'My wife's going to have her baby
in the cab! I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's
dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly, I noticed that there were
several cabs and I was in the wrong one.

Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Antonio , TX

2. At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and
slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. Big breaths, I
instructed. Yes, they used to be, replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA .

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her
husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five minutes
later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a,
'massive internal fart.'

Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist,
he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his
medications. Which one, I asked? The patch, the nurse told me to put on a new
one every six hours, and now I'm running out of places to put it! I had him
quickly undress, and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see. Yes, the man
had over fifty patches on his body! Now, the instructions include removal of the
old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA.

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, How long have
you been bedridden? After a look of complete confusion, she answered....Why, not
for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive.

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson, Corvallis , OR

6. I was caring for a woman and asked, 'So, how's your breakfast this
morning? It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to
get used to the taste,' the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly,
and the woman produced a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI

7. A nurse was on duty in the emergency room when a young woman with purple
hair styled into a punk rocker mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and
wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient
had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was
completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic
hair had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, 'Keep
off the grass.' Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short
note on the patient's dressing, which said, 'Sorry, had to mow the
lawn.'

Submitted by RN, no name.

8. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite embarrassed when
performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment, I had unconsciously
formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was
performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I
looked up from my work and sheepishly said, I'm sorry, was I tickling you?
She replied, No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was
an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'

Doctor wouldn't submit his name (Can't blame him!)
 

kide

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Aug 27, 2006
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Gerry Ide
Bryan .... Don't ya love it when one of the virals going around even includes a reference to a Snopes article that proves them wrong (because they've read it and taken a wee little bit out of context)?
err.gif


Gotta leave now, NSA wants to use my laptop for a while....
 

fcurrier

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Jul 5, 2004
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Frank A. Currier(Northern Maine)
Don Tanner says he doesn't like a fucking thing about me. I know how bad he can lie.
beerchug.gif
;)
 

jbaker

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jeff l baker
Riding an alligator,, now thats a cool
 

jbaker

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Nov 10, 2008
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jeff l baker
Riding an crocodile,, now thats a cool
err.gif
 

thoffman

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Tom Hoffman
My daughter work for Whole Foods and the 4th of July they had a sale on Virginia Ham........after about a hour someone realized they misspelled the sign. They were promoting "vigina" ham. Here department was in stiches the rest of the day.
 

thoffman

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Tom Hoffman
OK, time to get back on topic..............
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wshytle

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Wayne Shytle
It's finally good to see justice working the right way in this country. George Zimmerman was never guilty in my mind. All the prosecution was able to do was make him look even better. I'm also getting tired of the race card being played in every little thing that comes up. It does keep important people like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson receiving pay checks so I guess there are reasons for everything. After all, they play such important roles for the people of this country as well as the NAACP.

Yes, I'm being sarcastic. They are only here today to stir people up and make mountains out of mole hills. If they were all done away with there would be little change. They serve no purpose today. I feel certain that MLK would be ashamed of them all. He would also be ashamed of the way obama won BOTH of his elections as well as the country in general today.

George Zimmerman is one lucky dude!
 
Joined
Aug 23, 2006
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Allen Schumacher
Ya, I figured he would get manslaughter. I think he's gonna have to find a hole to hide in, suspect a bunch of people would like to cap his ass.
 

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