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Archive through August 16, 2013

IH Cub Cadet Tractor Forum

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kostendorf

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 19, 2012
Messages
617
displayname
Keith Ostendorf
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Can yall believe this guy???

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He's not wearing safety glasses, hearing protection, OR gloves!
 
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FWIW Andy and I are mowing all we can today. He's drinking gas and I'm into the Bud Light. That said, I looked around at what we'd done and it reminded me of my Navy days and a "girl of the night" in Italy. When she asked "Who do you expect to please with THAT little thing?" I said "ME"
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Currently SAN TACO AIRLINES is only flying in Mexico, but hopes to introduce services to San Diego and Los Angeles later this year.

The FAA is trying to stop SAN TACO'S entry into the US, because the FAA is unsure about the airworthiness of SAN TACO'S aircraft.

Southwest Airlines indicated that they will not be beaten on price.

Notice the spacious Business Class section on the upper deck

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Someone found this old picture and claims it is of me with my very 1st ever baby sitter.

My shrink tells me this is probably the root of ALL my problems but I disagree as there is no evedience of any Cub Cadet toys shown!!


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A little old lady goes to the doctor and says :
"Doctor I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn't bother me too much.

My farts never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office.
You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent.

The doctor says,"I see, take these pills and come back to see me next week.''

The next week the lady comes back.

"Doctor,"she says,"I don't know what the heck you gave me, but now my farts...although still silent...stink terribly."

The doctor says,"Good !!! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's work on your hearing."
 
A motorcycle police officer stops a driver for shooting through a red light.
The driver is a real <font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font>, steps out of his car and comes striding toward the officer, demanding to know why he is being harassed by the Gestapo!

So the officer calmly tells him of the red light violation. The motorist
instantly goes on a tirade, questioning the officer's ancestry, sexual
orientation, etc., in rather explicit offensive terms.

The tirade goes on without the officer saying anything.

When the officer finishes writing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower
right corner of the narrative portion of the ticket. He then hands it to
The 'violator' for his signature. The guy signs the ticket angrily, and
when presented with his copy points to the "AH" and demands to know
what it stands for.

The officer says, "That's so when we go to court, I'll remember that you're
an <font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font>!"

Two months later they're in court. The 'violator' has a bad driving record
with a high number of points and is in danger of losing his license, so he hired a lawyer to represent him.

On the stand the officer testifies to seeing the man run through the red light.

Under cross examination the defense attorney asks; "Officer is this a
reasonable facsimile of the ticket that you issued to my client?"

Officer responds, "Yes, sir, that is the defendant's copy, his signature and
mine, same number at the top."

Lawyer: "Officer, is there any particular marking or notation on this ticket
you don't normally make?"

"Yes, sir, in the lower right corner of the narrative there is an "AH,"
underlined."

"What does the "AH" stand for, officer?"

"Aggressive and hostile, Sir."

"Aggressive and hostile?"

"Yes, Sir.

"Officer, are you sure it doesn't stand for <font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font><font color="ff0000">&#149;</font>?"

Well, sir, you know your client better than I do.

~~~~ How often can one get an attorney to convict his own client~~~~
 
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